So here I am, back to the capitalism part of life. Isn't it just that, money, spiritualism, and matters of love....what else do we concern ourselves with...can't it all be categorized in one of those? Or isn't it a matter of balancing or reorganizing or making sure that the 2 that rally matter don't get bullied by the one that doesn't?
So my heart is overflowing - looking forward to trying to pull off a wedding in May. Spirtual life can use a jolt, but that feels constant. Money, well it has me in some grips again. Ready to break out of the 9-5 mold and begin to real create and flourish. Scared. So I stay here in my safe office and think of the security it offers.
How will I know if I can fly if I never take the leap?
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Cash
money
changes
everything
oh cyndie - how could you do it? we saw each other every afternoon...i said yeah, but you know, money changes everything.
please give me some. i want change.
okay - actually i am fine and blessed and grateful.
but i'm still living in a world where i'm prone to frustration about how much $ i don't have. want more money so i can do less work and play more often. and by play i mean work on other stuff. i swear i'd probably work harder and accomplish more if i didn't have to.
funny equation.
accepting donations. may be in the form of gifts. i like pretty things.
changes
everything
oh cyndie - how could you do it? we saw each other every afternoon...i said yeah, but you know, money changes everything.
please give me some. i want change.
okay - actually i am fine and blessed and grateful.
but i'm still living in a world where i'm prone to frustration about how much $ i don't have. want more money so i can do less work and play more often. and by play i mean work on other stuff. i swear i'd probably work harder and accomplish more if i didn't have to.
funny equation.
accepting donations. may be in the form of gifts. i like pretty things.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Soften my heart...with spikes of pain
Today my heart is tender for:
Miss Sasha (seriously, miss you girl);
Mr. Everything Good aka Grandpa (wish you were here);
Little Miss Pain-in-ass-but-love-you-anyway-Katie (hope Juvie on New Year's rocked); and
Mr. Stabbed-the-man-in-the-neck-and-now-I-am-in-prison-Dad (loved the chinos on th last visit).
Tender heart – as if my heart was literally tenderized with one of those big wooden hammers with the protruding spikes.
Tender heart – a moment when I know that none of this is personal
Tender heart – ability to be soft even though suffering exists
Tender heart – wanting to love you
Tender heart – wanting to free you from your suffering
Tender heart – allowing you to have your suffering anyway
Tender heart – full of stillness
may it remain.
Miss Sasha (seriously, miss you girl);
Mr. Everything Good aka Grandpa (wish you were here);
Little Miss Pain-in-ass-but-love-you-anyway-Katie (hope Juvie on New Year's rocked); and
Mr. Stabbed-the-man-in-the-neck-and-now-I-am-in-prison-Dad (loved the chinos on th last visit).
Tender heart – as if my heart was literally tenderized with one of those big wooden hammers with the protruding spikes.
Tender heart – a moment when I know that none of this is personal
Tender heart – ability to be soft even though suffering exists
Tender heart – wanting to love you
Tender heart – wanting to free you from your suffering
Tender heart – allowing you to have your suffering anyway
Tender heart – full of stillness
may it remain.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
7:30 am politiks of an 11 year old
he is 11, i am 32
it is 7:30am, it is also 24th of december
we should be talking of santa and xmas trees
no.
not us. today it was $$ and countries.
communism, capitalism
i love them both.
it was early so the impromtu discussion on world politics may have been spoiled with my opinion
a communist at heart, it does not work in practice.
nevertheless we have determined that china and its' baby laws suck.
america and its' capitalism rules. cuba, nice try but you only swayed our decision.
china f-you.
to darwin (yes he made the discussion) we say thanks for the ammunition.
politics before coffee, in the dark, on christmas eve morning, at my house.
may all beings everywhere be free from delusion, greed and hatred.
may we all have 14 babies if we wish
and
may all good children get spoiled without government intrusion.
it is 7:30am, it is also 24th of december
we should be talking of santa and xmas trees
no.
not us. today it was $$ and countries.
communism, capitalism
i love them both.
it was early so the impromtu discussion on world politics may have been spoiled with my opinion
a communist at heart, it does not work in practice.
nevertheless we have determined that china and its' baby laws suck.
america and its' capitalism rules. cuba, nice try but you only swayed our decision.
china f-you.
to darwin (yes he made the discussion) we say thanks for the ammunition.
politics before coffee, in the dark, on christmas eve morning, at my house.
may all beings everywhere be free from delusion, greed and hatred.
may we all have 14 babies if we wish
and
may all good children get spoiled without government intrusion.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
ruby and knee
he got down on one knee
he asked me to be his wife
i, like always, fell into his eyes
his heart represented
by a ring with a ruby
the night sky embraced us
the island of treasure to my right
i laughed at the heartache
i joked with the future
i fell into his arms
a moment of change
a beggining
an end
je suy nostre sans de partier
por vida
i fell into his heart
he asked me to be his wife
i, like always, fell into his eyes
his heart represented
by a ring with a ruby
the night sky embraced us
the island of treasure to my right
i laughed at the heartache
i joked with the future
i fell into his arms
a moment of change
a beggining
an end
je suy nostre sans de partier
por vida
i fell into his heart
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